From Peace to ‚drugs‘

At about 11 am I left the ‚Karmapa‘ temple in beautiful state of peace.
A love the area and nature here and further on. I always get to walk at least half a day on the very small side roads so I can enjoy all the beauty. Trees. Terasse fields. Spring energy. Clear air. Snowy mountain views……

Just before sunset I arrive in a tea growing area at Gopalpur. In general the farmers left lots of trees standing in the tea fields.
Manu invites me to his house. His two sisters have already married, he is the only son und stays with his parents. Soon we end up sitting in his friends Kaku fancy car  and Kaku’s girlfriend. They drink some little alcohol and smoke bidi’s…. that’s ‚what I love’…..
Kaku invites me at least 10 time to his house, finally I agree for the day after. It’s directly on the way. He boast himself up, that his father is so rich, they have a huge impressive villa and I can ask them for anything. I could stay however long I want, even 20 or 40 years….. If I need money, no problem, and and and.. …
I survive somehow the happening. This night I learn how sensitive I became. Because Manu’s mother thinks, the room we had to sleep in, should be a little bit refreshed, Manu spayed some room refresher in the air. When I entered the room later on, I hardly couldn’t breathe. So we went to another room one floor up. And we had to sleep in one big bed together. The bed was so big, that there was nearly a meter between us, but I still felt the alcohol on my tongue (I did drink nothing) Also the room refresher clued on my tongue. I slept away from his breathing direction….. still the taste in my mouth went on for another 24h. ….
At the breakfast Manu’s mother speaks all the time with me in Hindi. I don’t understand a word. Because she does not stop I just answer with some fantasy language, then she burst into big laughter…. she continued in Hindi, I in fantasy language, she burst into laughter again….. we continued for a while….
The day I enjoyed the nature again, finding out, that I was re-invited by boasting Kaku. It was, yes, sooooo important to him that I meet his parents……..

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From the Dalai Lama to the Karmapa

I left McLeod Ganj today. About the place, where the Dalai Lama has his residence I will report later. I have not all puzzle pieces together, I feel. I am coming back there in 10 days, having another Vipassana retreat close by, and I will stay some days after the retreat, to meet Holger, a friend from Flensburg, visiting Dharamsala with a delegation of the German Tibet Community.

It’s only 12 km to walk to the residence of the 17th Karmapa on the east side of Dharamshala. The temple is these days in use of a big teaching given by a teacher, who does it on behalf of the Dalai Lama. The Karmapa temple is bigger than the one in McLeod, but for the lecture, the 500 monks and nuns sit not only inside but also around the main hall. The teaching is in Tibetan, I understand nothing, even though it’s the second last day of a week teaching, I am welcome to sit with them. It’s just so wonderful to sit with the nuns and monks, just breathing and being there.

After the teaching I walk around the temple. Especially here I enjoy the ‚army’s‘ of smaller Buddha’s sitting around and in another level above the big statues. ‚Army’s‘ of meditating Buddha’s we need in the world!!!

Tomorrow I will sit again in the morning with the monks and nuns. 😊😊😊

towards Dharamsala

After nearly 2 weeks staying at Sunils and Reenas house I finally had to say goodbye. The view towards the snowy Himalayas welcomes me while leaving my ‚part-time-home‘.
2 days of very beautiful landscape followed. I was just amazed by this beauty. The hills went already up to 800m. I felt blessed to be on very small curvy roads with very little traffic.
One night I stayed with Tellek. He spoke about the damage, the monkeys do in the fields all the time. Even though the Indian government allows to shoot monkeys, and bringing a dead monkey to the police would give you 1000 Rupees (15€) no-one in India is doing it. Every life is precious…. and God given…. But the following day I was somehow contemplating on this topic. The area around the Beas River and reservoir  is a quite green area, and still, if I would move here, I would even plant more trees. Especially originally trees. Trees who provide enough food for the animals. To my mind comes the question, what do eat monkeys in winter? At night I see by chance a YouTube video, a sadu explained, that 35 years ago he could go any time of the year into the jungle and there was always food.  Now, if he goes to the jungle, it can happen , that he is starving…. So, if originally trees come back to the jungle, monkeys maid stay there, don’t damage the field anymore. It would be best to buy properties and replant the land…..

I come closer to Dharamsala. Again beautiful landscape, later a lot of tea plantation area. It’s 19 km to walk but 1000 elevation meters to go up. So good for my body to really sweat again. The sun and weather so supportive to my journey. Still my ears are not open again, in lower areas I feel somehow under water,  but I realize, coming up to 1800m, I feel so much better, my ears get lighter. Reaching McLeod, the residence area of the Dalai Lama, I nearly shake because of exhaustion. On the way I had another inside, about attachments. I understood, that all the ‚anger‘ topics of my earlier report are actually my helpers. In the moment, I get angry, I am attached, can’t be my real self, my god-self, anymore. I am attached to the world. Same also with my pain in the belly, being with the belly pain means, not being with my god-self anymore – when I stay there at least. So using this sensitive moments, not to get attached, frees me, to be my true self. I maid have picked up this info out of the collective consciousness around the Dalai Lama residence area…?… Anyway, I am very grateful for this inside.

The last month I walked without cappy. So nice to have the sun and elements directly on my shaved head. Now the sun gets stronger. I very soon have to get a cappy again.


If you have not read the article about ‚age‘ before, you maid scroll down to update yourself.
So its one year later now, and my next birthday is coming again in the end of march. Since last year I count backwards, so this year, I become 52. And the best thing is, the day after I am already 51 and 364 days.

Its interesting to witness the process in getting younger. Sometimes I think, I should even make a greater step towards being younger in age, just jumping to 35 or so. But for now…..
Nearly every day I have to tell someone how old I am. When I say 53, sometimes there is something coming in mind, ahh, there was something else, but I still go with it. Sometimes I doubt, if that is right, but all together I am still fine. Sure, I was born in 1962, then I counted forward, as everyone did, from last year on I counted backwards. If I get people to know better, I don’t hide with this.
I see my body is still doing some changes, but very often I tell him and my mind, I do not accept.

Last month, still in the resting period in Rishikesh, people started to guess my age much older, like 60, even 70, and one time, someone said, I guess you must be very old, and he was somewhere around 79. Upps, that was a bit strange, but I also felt, I don’t care so much…. In the moment I started walking again, all the guessing went to much younger again. So surprising. So they said, 45, or around 40…. hihihi so funny, but for me a sign, to walk is still good. I am on the right path.

I know all the cells and atoms in our body get all the time renewed. So why should they stop to do so? That would be such a stupid game. If we have to die to a specific day, why should I not be fit until then. There could be some kind of sign a year before, or some month before, and then I know, ok, time is coming to leave this body. At a specific age puberty starts, at around my 46 1/2 year I felt, as if someone had pushed a button, to age. What’s that?, a program?. I refuse to agree with that program. I just do.
I also refuse to believe, teeth can not grow anymore in the body. I know, every cell has the ability to do everything in the body. So, if I need new teeth, why are the cells not doing it? And I want to have the experience of getting on a natural way new teeth again. And I am fully open to get to know, how that works.

Sometimes my mind already forgot, in some moments, that the most people count forward, he understands I am moving forward to 27!!!. Yes.

Article from 18th of May 2017

Maybe this is something to smile, but it feels good….😊😊😊😊

Last year I was 54. Two times 27

27 is a age a really like. Maybe it’s the best age in my opinion. Even when I was 27, I kind of felt it, I realised it also then. I was grown up. I had my own life. I got more confident, what I liked in life…..

Now, when I write this, I realize, that was the time, when I ‚woke up‘ first. It had to do with coming in contact with harmonic singing. That really brought me back to my heart. So, it’s maybe also a rhythm, a circle of 27 years  (I don’t know how many circles of 27 I will make….. – its also 9×3/3×9)

I don’t know how long it is ago, I said inside to myself: when I am 80 I want to feel, to be like 27 again. By this I mean bodily fitness, freshness, open minded, knowing there is still so much coming…… and for sure I want to keep all my experiences with me.

Until I was 46 1/2 I never felt any difference between 27 or younger and than. Then suddenly I could see – yes it’s true, this guy or this girl, they are somehow younger.

When I started the peace walk, I already new that I had to kind of come closer to 27 again and that I kind of have to work on it. I thought I would find some technique or something else – I did not know what- what could help me to come closer or get in the direction to 27 again…..

Anyway, nothing really showed up yet, and I turned one year older than 54. That day, or very close by, I thought, from now on I do the first steps by counting backwards. Means, when I do the next circle of 27 years, I am back at 27!!!!

Uuuuhhh. I really really like that. So, 54 (+) -1 year is exactly 53!!!! That feels so good, getting wiser and year by year closer forward my real age 27!!!! I love it so much.

Are you smiling now?

I do!!!!


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Anger — Space

In my spiritual journey, I developed something called space. It’s mainly an inner space. It has to do with an open heart. With tolerance. With realizing the god-self, and just space, empty and to the same time full with peace and silence. It has to do with understanding the real truth. When I enter a house, I can feel, if that person has that ‚inner space‘. Often I can see it also, how a house is designed or furnished…. But it always comes with a feeling… there is space…. in that space I can breath…. and I do not mean the breath with the body breath, I mean, the soul, the it, my being can breath and rest in it.

This space is something so precious, I can explain nearly everything on/with it.

When it comes to take my space, I still have to improve myself in some fields, to embrace that non space. But in these coming fields I still have to work on myself.

beggars, cheat and lying, honk, spitting, pollution, loud, chaos
When I was in Leh in Ladakh at the peace stupa, a tibetian monk spoke to me about happiness, and if we want to reach it fully, we have to embrace everyone and everything with compassion. As an example he mentioned the spitting. I really have a problem, when people spit on the street, just before or behind me and especially, when they make a noisily sound getting all the slime up the throat first and then spit it out. It feels so much, that someone is taking my space and spits on it.
When shop keepers of holders of little stands at the street want to cheat me with the wrong price, maybe double price,
when I am walking on the street, and motorcycles and cars, buses and trucks honk at me and so often out of any reason… and not just here and then, but all the time, every half a minute….. sometimes more or less, brrr….
when it is just loud all the time, everywhere I go
when pollution is overtaking, air pollution, so I cant breath, but also and especially sound pollution without any break for a ongoing time
when beggars in a penetrating way ask for money, on and on, I don’t have a problem, when I go along a street, and there are two or three beggars, but if it is a ongoing game, in Rishikesh I often had to pass along 30 to 40 beggars on a 6 km stretch one way, and you always have to say no

so when it continuously happened, so when the game does not stop

than I am still not able to keep my compassion and space alive. If I feel my space gets attacked, it is possible, that I get angry – compassion gone

In the narrow ways in the city of Amritsar, where I personally think, this is a walking area, there are endless motorcycles trying to get through, with lots of honking. Other motorcycles are even parked there, so even the left over space is gone. I just don’t know, where is space to walk. After some steps, next honking, going to the side. It feels you can’t do 10 steps without being disturbed in your way. Here and at some other places I developed a technique, to get some more space. I just extend my aura. So, in that narrow mini roads its not possible, because the house walls mark a kind of border, but than I did it upwards, upwards three four floors up the house canyons and than into the sky…. that is helping me, to breath, to relax, to be still extended, still, what I am….

So I still go on…. peace in every situation….


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Being gay

One of these days I sad down with Sunil and he asked me about my life. He wanted to know about education, one thing came to the other and I spoke about big live changing periods, especially when consciousness and awareness makes some important shifts and break through’s. And I wanted to explain the education of the heart, which takes place also in learning the language of the heart since I am 26.
At one point I was stuck, and my mind was flattering around. Ahh, it was the point, that I was gay, yeah, that was also a important shift to acknowledge and to confess, to come out, what I was hiding for lots of years. This all happened when I was around 29. To that time it was very important, to tell everyone, and to have so many come outs all the time. Also later, sometimes it felt all the time again and again, that I was coming out again and again from the beginning. But I kind of refuse to tell everyone in my introduction, that I am gay. Even though I don’t know, if I am gay or something in between of bi and gay.

I have to tell, that I was hiding in some Muslim countries this part of my person identity (even though replying questions, when it was a trustful person, yes I am), in the beginning I felt a bit bad, but later it became so much more unimportant, because being gay is even not my identity, I am my god-self, where even the sex or my name is not important. I am my god-self, experiencing a human life with a body given, and a part of this human life is also to be gay, on this level. But this is not my true self. So, if I get asked, why I am not married,  I even don’t think of the fact, that one reason could be, that I am gay, because it is not true. I am not married, because to do this journey was much more important in my life, than having a marriage and children. Also now, I even could get married with a man. But I don’t see any reason.

For 17 years I had no relationship at all, and two years ago a affair with a man for some weeks, but after that, I am not attached to him. And I am single again. It seems, that he is coming next winter, to see me/us, but then we will see…. and maybe start again or even not…. I don’t depend on continuing this relationship…. but who knows, what comes out of a new encounter/meeting…??? And there is no other need of any affair at all….

So, why putting this topic so much in the focus? Why coming in a room and expressing first, I am Thomas, I am a peace pilgrim, I am from Germany, I am not married, I have that or that religion, I am gay and so on…..
And also understanding, that all of the I am …… that and that is anyway not true, what remains is only ‚I AM‘ without labels….

But…. the days after I was a bit contemplating…. if I hide something, is there some fear left, that I like guys?…. do I have to express it more?…. maybe to help others…..maybe to help me…. is there a uncertainty left, that it is not possible to awake fully and  be the ‚god-self‘ or ‚it‘? Does society need to know, its also good to ‚be gay‘ on the non identified person level and its still ok to awake into what we really are? Is there still a believe inside of me, that something I feel is not ok?

Anyway, interesting topic and for sure, people need to be able and free to express them-selves, and its so important that we have equal rights no matter of colour, race, religion, sex, sexual orientation….. what ever…. and there is still a big need to come forwards to all these equal rights…..

And it also would be ok to come in a room and say: I am Thomas, I am from Germany, I am a peace pilgrim, I am not married, and I am happy to be gay……


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‚Still with Sunil’s family in Dehra‘ and ‚Food‘

I am still in Dehra, where I arrived 9 days ago. With Sunil’s and Reena’s family. It’s like in many Indian families, it’s a big family, brothers and wifes, who live in the same house with there little children. One unmarried brother and one ‚being married very soon sister‘, also mother and father live here, this is called in India ‚joined families‘. The grandparents have a house not to far away.
This family is so great, everyone has a smile on his or her face, when I see them, when they see me. Also, I am kind of all the time working on the blog, no problem, whatever I need is supported.
The day before, in Sunil’s office, suddenly a professional photographer showed up. He did a foto with Sunil and myself. Sunil want’s to frame us and put us in his office….?!
Also two days ago we went to a tailor, to find some fabric, that he could make a new trousers and a shirt for me. Picked it up yesterday. Looking good. New socks and a T-Shirt updates my travelling clothes collection. Wonderful.
The family invited me several times to stay longer, means a month or so….
Every meal is prepared as I need to, see further down, that I really feel comfortable…..
I can use his laptop and his office, as I mentioned earlier, to write all my articles…..
When I came first to this room, which is no kind of ‚mine‘ for a while, I mentioned somehow, that it smelled a bit and somehow it was not very welcoming, because it was used as a storeroom for a while, no problem for this family. Everyone came to the room to see, what needs to be done. Then everything was removed, what needed not to be there, brooms and mops were activated, the shelf was also refreshed. The smelling test revealed that the blankets…. so there looked for better blankets, who were refreshed next day in the sunlight. (normally, when I get a room offered, and it is not in condition, how I wish, then I just go for it, just clean it by myself, day by day, until its spaceful. But here…. I just was so welcomed, that I could express, what I need….)

Already, and now it comes, at the first evening, or the second day, Sunil told me, that he would be so happy to build a house for me. I did not know what to say towards this offer, it’s a premiere…..  But he mentioned it again and again. The property is already bought, it’s in the middle of the jungle. We went last Sunday to see it. He want to build his own new home there, he likes to be with family by himself. And there is surely enough more space to build a house for me there. Also he offered me a job in his office, and by having that, it would be easy for me to become a Indian resident with a Indian passport. He would take care of it.
So after I while we spoke. I think and feel, in the moment, heart and mind consciously I don’t need a house…. But then he replied, ‚but whenever you ready, please… think of me, and we can make it happen….‘

Food and belly
This is a topic all my life. All my life, when I look back, there was something in my belly blocked. But in the first 35 years I kind of thought it was normal, because I did not know different or better…. Even the cramps I often have, they have been there a long long time, maybe all my life. After I started a ’spiritual life‘ I also understood, that I have to work through all this blockages. First I was busy with a heart area blockage. After that was done, I got aware of this upper belly problem first, then that there was a blockage in so many areas of my stomach/belly. And there is already a big big big history in working through it. And very big achievements.
Through Vipassana some more doors opened up, to look at it, I feel, so I feel some progress…..

Its just so taff to understand it all, because it’s very complex. And you can be very sure, I look every day at some part of it, trying to understand the whole picture. Anyway, I also benefited a lot from the blockage, because I had to feel everything with my heart, everything. My belly feelings are kind of hidden, but underneath of this hidden areas I can feel slightly the normal feelings I would have there. I can very exactly feel, but reduces or nam somehow. Besides working at the trauma’s what I don’t want to comment this time (I did earlier) I had to focus this winter on the food.
Its anyway a bit complicated with the food, because I don’t eat several things. I am vegetarian, but that’t in India no problem at all. Than I don’t drink black and green tea…. I don’t eat sugar…. I am not eating onions, because of an allergy, here it becomes complicated. This winter I also realized, that I am not tolerant to garlic anymore, it makes sense, its the same family. So travelling through the countries, its complicated to get always the right food.
This winter I faced some more problems, I had always diarrhea. Leaving the garlic away, the diarrhea stopped. I actually liked the diarrhea a bit, because it always made my stomach empty and light, because I have the tendency to eat sometimes to much. So then I felt like, the food sticks inside, making the opposite, a kind of half or 2/3 blockage with cramps. But because I am used to it, I somehow ignored it a bit, but observed.
During the winter and also in other periods before I had another suspicion. Can’t I eat bread anymore, do I have a gluten allergy?…. and does my stomach don’t like spicy food? (my mouth likes it)
But anyway, life goes on, I did not have any diarrhea anymore, cramps I am used to my whole life, and I guessed they have there source not only from food…. I spent the whole period of break time looking at this belly topic…. now I have to walk again…..
But Indian food is always with onion and its very hard to avoid, most families say: only a little bit of onion…. so I sometimes took, thinking, maybe the cooked version is not doing so much to me, at least not diarrhea…. So at one incident, I thought my host goes to the kitchen, and the food is already done, he just brings something out, so I can’t say anything. When he came back, after a long while with two freshly cooked dishes, it was to late to say anything, and there were onion in it, cooked onion. And just not a very little. So I tried to move the onion to the side… ate the rest and I was hungry, a lot of bread. It kind of stuck in the stomach, but I thought, ok, I ate to much. I stayed all together 3 days, they where aware now, that I don’t eat onion, but a little bit… brrr…. ok…. and they always served a lot of bread and yogurt. I did eat also bananas and peanuts. After a while there was only a big blockage in my stomach and it felt very uncomfortable. Days and days after it was even not gone.

Coming to this family, they are so understanding…. wonderful… I can here really not eat also bread and they make me non spicy food. And one time, when it was to spicy, without any hesitation or anger, they search for the reason of not eating and just make it different. And the cramps came down more and more. Now, since some days, I was eating some bread from corn, what was very delicious, and I thought, this might be the solution, because it does not content gluten, but the cramps are coming back. Does it have to do know with the corn, or just eating to late in the evening yesterday, or a little to much…. Its so difficult to find out. Anyway, maybe I let the corn away again for a while, just eating vegetables without onion, fruits and nuts…. what I anyway love most….

I am so greatful for this family, to make everything possible…..
Thanks thanks thanks thanks univers….


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Amritsar and direction Daramshala

This years journey I started at the Pakistan border at the first of February. Because I was not allowed to walk through Pakistan (no Visa), it feels like connecting the earlier walked way until Afghanistan. Here I would have come from Lahore over the border into India. I wanted so much, to walk into India, but last year, as you know, I had to take the plane from Kabul to Delhi. (The Visa in Afghanistan could not be renewed and suddenly I also was not able to get a Visa for Pakistan). The original plan was, to stay all together nearly 4 month in Afghanistan and then walking for 3 month through Pakistan. So I would have reached at this point at mid of December 2017. A big rest was planed afterwards…. then continue walking on the path, where I do know…. towards Daramshala.

Amritsar is about 27 km away from the border. This is the city and holy place of the Sikh. In the middle of the city is the Golden Temple. The Golden Temple, which is not so big, is surrounded by water, surrounded by more buildings and places of worship. In the Golden Temple the holy book is honored and protected. The religion is only 600 years old. For 200 years, one master after the other was incarnated in the same family, always teaching the messages, which was received from God. Sikh call God by the name Wahe Guru. Sikh are always wearing a turban, at least the men, most colourful. They never cut there hair, tied together under the turban. Also other body hair is never cut. So, all the men have a beard, if getting to long, also tied together and somehow fixed under the chin. Sikhs are known for helping and serving all the time. So Sikh told me on the way, where ever you see someone with a turban, you always can be sure, to be safe and that you can get help. Another remarkable thing is, that Sikh like to cook for everyone and especially the poor. In a close by building at the golden temple, you see unbelievable many people serving, peeling onions and garlic, cutting vegetables, distributing plates and glasses, spoons to the people. On the other side of the hall, collecting eating rests and washing the dishes. Arriving at the lower hall, it was just full, they closed the doors. Soon everyone was guided to the hall one floor up. Long linen are in stripes on the floor, where the people sit on. Crossed legs I put my plate and glass on the ground. Immediately after rice and dal (lentils), some other vegetables are served, water filled up in the glass. The hall fills up in 20 min with around 400-500 people. Every some minutes someones arrives to refill the plate, however much you like to eat. Soon after you are finished, you leave your place. Everything on the floor will be cleansed after you, to be ready for the next people. Thousands and thousands of meals are served every day like that. No one ask you for any money, but sure you can at special areas…. Sikh have also a special dress and special underwear to wear. Everyone, also women, have a sword with them, smaller or bigger, for self-defense. All together the look looks quite impressive. I realize, that Sikh people in general look a bit taller than most other Indians. They have a different descent line. Sikh you find all over the state of Punjab, but here and there also somewhere else in India. It seem that they always have a good mood.

After walking out of Amritsar, I end up in a little village called Chetanpura, searching for a night stay. I come in contact with some turban wearing brothers, who have a office, where you can learn, how to tie turban. I don’t have a clue, how you can make money with that, but I have other communication topics. I have to convince them, to help me to find a place for the night. After some ideas I end up in a Gurudwara. A Gurudwara is a temple, but also a place, where everyone is always welcome to stay for the night, and to get food for free. And here something happened first every morning walking through Punjab. At 4.30 am the leading Sikh recites in a room, where the holy book is honored, from the holy scriptures, but its also transmitted through the loud speakers. The whole recitation lasts for about 2 hours…… Because these Gurudwaras are at a lot of places in Punjab, I will see more of them in the next weeks.

With the route planing my paper map helped me a bit for a better overview, but with a route suggestion for walkers also. So I found a way, where I can walk on small streets. In the afternoon, somewhere before Kattewal, I meet a Indian, living in Germany, who invites me to his property. But I have already an invitation in Kattewal for the night. Ok. 20 min. Finally longer. The major showed up with a golden plastic cup, a trophy, a press photo is maid and I have another ‚wonderful‘ gift in my backpack…. Everybody was so happy….
Next day have to walk through a small city, Batala. Cities in India are not always a joy, full of traffic, sound and pollution. Luckily I arrive in the early morning. My plan is to sneak somehow through. Already I found out, if I look at the people, I have to talk to so many, about where I am from, whats my name…. and so on. Also I understand, that most people, who are just interested in a small talk…. they just don’t get, what I am doing. They hear my story, that I walked from Germany to India, but I see in there eyes, they just don’t understand. They say yes, but…. I don’t know where the whole information gets…. then in these cases, I mention 16.000 km through 15 countries, still no bell is ringing….. then, when they understand, that I will walk to Daramshala by walking, they say: You are on the wrong way, the bus is going there and there. ‚…but I am walking’…. ‚but that’s to far….’…. Its about 200 km, then some of them nearly panic….. I don’t know, why it takes so long to understand… and then some still don’t get it…. I don’t understand it in a country, where so many Sadus  walk everywhere on foot, why it is so difficult to understand…. anyway, I am not so interested in these kind of conversation on and on, so I look towards the street, not looking right, not looking left, to somehow sneak to the city, partly protecting my inbreath from pollution by putting a fabric in front of my nose and mouth. And it worked….
After Batala I meet a very nice men with his son on the street. When they hear about the story and purpose, I feel there hearts open up so much, so beautiful. The invitation to come with them to Batala I don’t take, thinking afterwards often about them…..

At Bullowal the welcoming is priceless. Jiggi picked me up from the main road by motorcycle to get me to his home. In the moment, we arrive everyone is freaking out, flipping out. The surprise is to big, a foreigner in there house…. Screaming, shouting at each other, jumping up and down, laughing, looking at each other, not believing there luck having me there, they couldn’t believe there eyes, the whole big family is just ecstatic …. this goes on for about 10 to 15 minutes, without a real break. They set me in a kind of grandfather chair and all 15 gather around me, asking me questions, partly in there language….  Everyone so happy and laughing all the time…. Here we had a lot of fun, getting me my first turban….

I also meet Indians, who just for a visit back home. They immigrated mainly to Canada and Australia. Aman is back from Australia. His father has a kidney issue, his mother is willing to donate one of her kidneys to him. The operation is 2 or 3 weeks later. Raj is back from Canada, after his studies he just married his wife some weeks ago. Now she will follow him in a few month, after immigration papers get ready. Young people try to make there future often in other countries. I get often asked, if I can help to get to Germany…..

One day I think about some missing money,…. It must be stolen, but I can’t believe it. Again! And where. Its about 3.000 Rupees, maybe ‚just‘ 2.500, not quite sure. That’s about 46 or 38 $. How did that happen and where. I can’t believe that it happened in one of the Sikh homes I have been in. The money was deeper down in the backpack and I would have witnessed it. And all the Sikh I met, have been so honorable….. But in the hotel in Amritsar, that’s the only place where it could have happened. Sometimes the service came into my room, to pass by. Behind my room there was a water filter station and also a altar, to put some light, incense and flowers there… and at one day, I witnessed, I could not find my ear phones anymore, I was so sure, I left them on the bed…. I don’t know, who it was, because these people were also quite fine people…. but…. So I was that morning just with this feeling, and it was quite uncomfortable…. so I decided to make a brake, I went somewhere in the bushes, to meditate just about the feeling (without labeling it). Through that observing and breathing with it, I felt to sleep…. after I woke up, the feeling was gone. I witnessed a great awareness in me, could kind of feel see my own real self in and around me, I was the observer, the god-self. I went on for days with this….
A friend from Germany, Khushru, somehow responded on one of my facebook picture, the one with the turban on my head. He said ‚take care, maybe, they keep you there‘. I responded ‚earth is earth‘. He ‚We are connected with EVERYTHING, but everyone is at his place rooted‘. I ‚I say very often, I love this earth, and today I fell very clear, my roots are in my heart, there I am rooted, very deep. Through your question I could realize, that I am not attached to this planet anymore, whats new to me. And it feels great’….. I always loved this planet so much, that I could not think of leaving this paradise… but something changes…. I am also free now, to go everywhere else. I do not know, how long already I feel like this…couldn’t really figure out….

Every morning, the same game, at 4:30 am loudspeakers transfer the reciting of the holy words, two hours!!!!! Meditation impossible. The next days, until I reached the next state, Himachal Pradesh, I always slept at Gurudwaras. In Kahnuwan I was in one Gurudwara for 2 nights, where I had to ‚observe‘ the sound of 3 recitations from 3 directions, all mixed up. My Gurudwara, the Naagan Wala Mandir temple was special in some ways, the kind of Sadu freaks here where smoking pot and to the same time I found in this temple so much space, where I like to dwell in. In Nushera Pattan two musicians slept we me in the dorm, exercising with harmonium and tabla drums mantras, which they had to present at different events. At Batha Sahib again the ’space‘ presence, just wonderful.

Soon the time had to come to leave Punjab, the state, which is so flat, everywhere fields, mostly with wheat growing in this season. They have two harvests in the year. In summer they grow rice. Also sugar cane you see anywhere. Often groups of people cook the sugar cane to get out of it the brown sugar. As you know, I don’t eat the white refined sugar, so I tried the brown. But after a while I stopped again. It feels nearly the same aggressive to my teeth. I will leave the state of the Sikh master cookers. I met some Sikh cooking teams, one where just finishes with distribute the food that day, and they liked to have a selfie. When arriving at the other group, I was aware, this are the perfect photos to show the world how big the every day task is. There were nearly 20 people busy with cooking outside in big pots, 10 of them women, in beautiful coloured Indian dresses, making chapati, bread as in a fabric, joyful and always with a smile. They cooked at least for 200 – 250 people, but I don’t have a clue, where all the people would come from later on, because not a real village close by. I was not in the mood to take pictures…

I want the people to wake up, otherwise the planet gets destroyed very soon
The framer to wake up, to realize: no, I am not pesticide my fields anymore, I take responsibility for the insects and bees, I take care for the water, I don’t pesticide the water anymore, I want anyone to have fresh water, I will want that people eat healthy food, I will find ways to have still a good harvest without poison my plants and fields and I know, I will also benefit from me behavior…..
The doctors to wake up, to realize: no, I am not giving my patients, who comes to consult me, pills for there lung disease, I will go out on the streets to demonstrate for better air, also I will teach my patient, to find a natural medicine to cure his problem, I will also do that with other patients, I know, nature has given us so many good remedies, I am not accepting anymore, to pollute my patients, and through my patients taking pills, I am not willing to take responsibility, that through to many pill the patients get side effects and through digestion and urination I know, the water gets also polluted, I am not willing anymore, to look away….
The pharma manager to wake up and realize: I am responsible, that we don’t anymore invent in natural products, I have to change. I have to take effort, that people feel better by what is already there, I have to look into better ways to serve, I have to serve the people, not the money, I know I can do that and I will benefit from so much more happiness…
The car driver, to wake up and realize: Yes today, I do not need to take my car, the way is not very far and I have nothing to transport. I can take my bicycle. I will even benefit from body exercise, but I also know, I don’t pollute any air today, my family can breath better and I also know, not using my car, I reduce sound pollution, so we all can experience hearing the nature again…..
The shop keeper, to wake up an realize: I am not putting the goods anymore into plastic bags, every plastic bag is making so much trouble to the planet and the environment, to animals and through burning the plastic also towards the air. I step out no, no matter what my costumers say, I will patiently explain it to everyone who comes to my shop and teach them to find better ways, so we all benefit from it. I also try to have healthy products in my shop, so that will influence the companies, because I don’t bye any crap from there anymore
The mother, to wake up and realize: Oh, I have to look deeper into the sources where I get food from, I should even grow my own staff and even I have to look into cleaning material. I know there are cleaning liquids, who are natural and don’t harm the water. I love my life and the life of others, including animals, and I want to support every living being to bloom up….
The ‚animal farmer‘ to wake up and realize: What am I doing all the years? I make animals suffer to produce milk and meat, I have put them in closed buildings, they even can’t breath anymore. With the shit of the animals, I over fertilize the fields, this pollutes water….. I can’t take responsibility anymore for that, the rules the governments have made are so ill, I have to step out of that, I am only working for money. I have become a machine, I have to come back to be a human, to serve to the humans, animals and nature. I can’t also continue to treat my animals with antibiotics anymore, this is harming them and everyone, who eats that meat, also the water….. I have lost a healthy way of thinking, I will change my behavior….. and I am strong enough to so, I will even benefit from it….
The politicians, to wake up and realize: Oh, what have we done to the world? I know I am not the only one responsible for the mess in the world. From now on I go with the truth, my master is my inner self, my God is not the money anymore, but the well being and happiness of everyone. I have to take care of good education, I have to take care of good health, fresh air, fresh water, I know that I don’t know everything and I don’t have always from here to then a solution, so I am willing to search deep inside and outside…. I know, people always expect solutions so quick, but sometimes I have to go and ask the people, to help me…. I am happy, so much happy, to do better from now on….
The priest and leaders in our religions, to wake up and realize: Also I have lost the way somehow sometimes, am I still on the right path, do I maybe need a break to go inside to search for the deeper truth, did I serve enough, do I serve sometimes money, do I serve the truth…. can I confess my mistakes, ask forgiveness and restart again….. do I serve the well being of all….Yes, I am strong enough, and to re-look at my behaviors always strengthens me

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‚R6‘ After the retreat is before the retreat

When I came to the Vipassana center, I thought I could somehow join two courses after each other, maybe later volunteer in other ones, to maybe maybe finally visit a 21 day course in January 2018 (because there was a gab in the schedule, and I was kind of guessing, that it was not announced to the normal schedule) But all of that did not work out. The offer was, to stay in the center for free, and volunteer in exchange. But with this I just could not agree. Because at the peace walk I kind of volunteer all the time, now is my break time, I have to look, what I need for myself and get ready for beginning of February 2018, walking continues then….

And I was not finished at all with my silent time, not at all…. So I remembered the place I figured out at the mini ashram with the little pyramid, all directly at the Ganga in Rishikesh. I was still welcome…. organized everything for doing another 11 days of silence…. I continued with the Vipassana meditations and/or with a more free style, but I was quite disciplined. At my afternoon I had to be somehow very careful to find a good silent way of communication with the flower girls, who sell a little set of flowers and herbs for offering to the Ganga. I find a good way, but the girls, and sometimes boys can be quite penetrating. Sometimes I even went over one of the bridges to the white sand and big rock beach at the river, to relax, enjoy some sun and a big grape fruit.
After a week of silence in Rishikesh, I had a very intense day. I combined the silence with a day of fast. At my special places in my belly I used a vacuum/pressure technique, which I was taught by my inner guidance years before and it became so super intense. Streams of white energy burst out some trauma places and totally overwhelmed me. But I also like it, when it happened, and I welcomed it. But at the end of the day, I felt, uuuuhhh, this was really a lot. Next early morning I went to the meditation pyramid to sit again, but because of someone else was sitting there and making Pranayama (breathing exercise) I could not stand the sound of him. I realized, wow, I am so done, went back to my room. And avoided meditation for a while…. my body had to adjust first….
But during that fast Wednesday, I got also some really deep insides, how to change my flyer about the peace walk (what I have not done until yet)  and the headline of the peace walk will not only for ’steppps peace walk‘ anymore, but will be ’steppps, walk for peace and Global awakening‘.

The rest of the time in Rishikesh then I really did for relaxation. No need to travel anywhere.
I worked a bit on getting my room more space, I bought some extra sheets and a mat, to have a fresh bed, because it was kind of smelly, made some peace birds for the room (and other occasions)…..
But mainly I relaxed.

Around the 20th of December, my monk friend Konchok came from Ladakh to Dehradun, and he invited me somehow, that I could stay with him for longer. But in fact, arriving there, he had to confess, that there was a problem, I could not stay there. It was a Buddhist institute, where he stayed, and they had much more regulations that he could have expected, especial foreigners living at that place. It needs some more papers and a consultation at the head of the institution, but he was not there. So …. after one night staying there, I went back to my mini ashram in Rishikesh at this beautiful location at the Ganga and stayed another month.

With Subash from Nepal, studying in India Yoga science, I had a good companion for sometimes long and deep conversation. Some time I spent also with Rajat, another student, studying Sanskrit. But all together I did avoid to meet people, just needed more time for myself, to digest all the last year….. kind of breathing out all the time….

There was one more idea coming up, to clean a side river from the Ganga from trash. I had kind of a plan also, what to do there, but in the end, even though taking same preparing time, I went only for two days picking trash…. I realized, I just need more time, have not so much capacity of left over energy for that pretty big task….

Some nights have been cold, down to 6 degrees, but with some blankets I managed. There is no heating system in the house. At the most days the sun is out at day time, so from 10 to 16:30 h I could warm up a bit. Very necessary!!!

I did not visit any ashrams in Rishikesh, just overwhelming many, but maybe, when I arrive there by walking in the end of this year, then it’s maybe the right time to do.


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‚R5‘ Vipassana Retreat

The Vipassana center in Dehradun has around 35 rooms for men and 35 for women, or even more – kind of guess. In my course where around 65 people, 35 men and 30 women. Women and men sit separate in the meditation hall and have a total separate tract of accommodation and dining….

Vipassana is a silent retreat with teachings, done by Mr. Goenka, the founder of all the Vipassana centers worldwide. Vipassana means, ’see things as they really are‘. More then 2500 years ago, the Buddha also exercised this already existing meditation technique on his way to enlightenment. Later he sent his followers around the (Buddhist) world to preserve the pureness of this Vipassana technique, to exercise it and bring it back 2500 years later to India. In fact, all the purest Vipassana teachings where gone, except in one Burmese (Myanmar) monastery. Here, a monk had the feeling, he has to share this technique with lay people around 80 years ago. To this time Mr. Goenka, born in Myanmar, got in contact with Vipassana. First he wanted to get rid of a tremendous migraine, but the monks, who would lead the retreat, refused to take him, because taking the retreat, getting only rid of the migraine would not fulfill the retreats purpose, healing the migraine would just be a byproduct of the teachings. So another 6 month went by, until Mr. Goenka agreed to take the course. After that he practiced for 14 years silently for himself. Meanwhile Mr. Goenka and his family had moved back to India. Because in Hindu culture, also Buddhist culture, it means good, to pass good things to the parents, he decided to teach the benefit of the course towards some relatives and friends. The parents also agreed. So he maid all the preparations for teaching the 10 days Vipassana in silence. The course was so successful, that Brahmans, Priests and even monks wanted to experience the discovery of Mr. Goenka. So it went on, course after course. Now numerous centers around the world exist and all the courses are free, means, if you like,( you can leave a donation. Especially for the first course you are only allowed to give a donation, when you complete it fully. Leaving before finishing all ten days means, that you can’t give a donation.

The Vipassana retreat includes 10 days of silent. The day before there is travelling time, arriving, and a first introduction. The course finishes in the very early morning after completing 10 days silent. There are sitting sessions from 4.30 am to 6.30 am, 8 am to 11 am, 1 pm to 5 pm, 6 pm to 7 pm, 8.30 pm to 9 pm and a teaching discourse done by a video from Mr. Goenka, who died about 10 years earlier in the age of 96, in the evening. Some of the silent sittings are guided by some instructions, and there are some singings from Mr. Goenka in the morning. Very beautiful – it’s in Pali, the language spoken 2500 years ago and I compare it with calligraphy, because it feels so precise and beautiful, its an art, how he sings. There are 5 commitments to agree with, at least for the period of the retreat. No killing (also not animals), no stealing, no sexual activity (after retreat its ’no sexual misconduct), no telling lies, no intoxicants (drugs, cigarettes, alcohol…). There are only two meals a day, the older students, who participated at least once have just tea in the afternoon, the new students get a fruit and tea in the afternoon.

In the first 3 days its just exercising concentration, being with the breath at the nose and later at a small area below the nose to witness sensations. At the forth day the real Vipassana meditation is introduced. Its a kind of scanning the whole body, up to down, and down to up, all the time. A teacher sits in the room in the front, who invites you from time to time forward. He asks some questions and is also available for questions from the students to other times. Up to 7 to 8 volunteers are in the room to support the teacher and all the students. The idea is not to find a result, but just observe, what ever happens, good or bad, wonderful or uncomfortable feelings, just observing. Mr. Goenka does not get tired to explain, that this are not Buddhist teachings, but teachings of universal natural rules. Sure, the Buddha also practiced them, but he practiced not something new, he practices universal rules, who where already known to his time. We can see and experience, what is the truth. For example not being attached. Our mind has the tendency to see everything negative. There are all the negative feelings, like hate, anger, rage, greed…. and on the other side positive feelings, like love, enjoyment, happiness…. When we taste the good side of the feelings, the mind has the tendency to crave, but craving make it not possible to stay with the ‚good‘ feelings. Everything comes and goes, and its just to observe….
The scanning has the effect to lighten up the body mind system, so areas in the body, for example, can be seen and observed. Also we can understand and experience, that everything what we are is coming and going, it is possible to observe even the smallest parts in us, like atoms and smaller….
Also all feeling needs to get to observed, the scanning helps to also experience the feelings.
The scanning takes place from outside to the inside of the body. Means, if you are a beginner, than you just start from you skin area. You scan up and down all the time, to experience and observe, if there is something, ….. but its not thought, to go inside by intention…., it will automatically happen that you go further inside. But it is possible, that it takes very much time, even month or longer, to do so. Its important not to judge… just to observe, and that’s the key at all…. not judging, just observing….. after a while you will also see, where the observer is, how you even observe…. and that’s another step towards realization, who you really are…. (this is just my comment)
People have all kinds of experiences, who seem maybe different in the beginning, but it all leads to the same …. Our nature, the universal knowing, God, is leading us step by step to the truth…..

Comparison with the silent retreats I was leading
I attended the silent retreat, because it was really time again. On the peace walk I did some silent retreats with some people, but in the last years mostly alone. (But when we walk together, we walk always in silence) I love it so much to be silent with people, I just love it. The most beauty is the rising up in me and the others. So beautiful and deep. Since I was 32, I developed silent retreats. First I did it by myself and later I led quite a number of silent retreats, mostly in Germany. If I count them all together, it comes up to more than 30 or so. Now I was so curious to find out, if a Vipassana retreat is so different, or lots of similarities can be found.
The nature of silence, the nature of universal wisdom, of God, makes it clear, there are a lot of similarities. The moment, we sit still, and the mind comes down step by step, its so natural, that the real truth is slowly slowly overtaking and brings everything in order again. But just to know, this is not a process of days or weeks or month, its a process through years and years….. Sitting still, and reducing the incoming sound, and not act anymore, is a sign for the God-self in us, to get active, to overtake the ‚behavior‘ of our person self, to be the God-self.
It is helpful to do a silent retreat at a silent area, surrounded by nature, even inviting nature to come into the place, where the sitting is happening.
So I found a lot of similarities. Even though the Vipassana meditation is more strict, there is always sitting, it comes to the same path. In my retreats I have some other elements, like walking meditation and some toning from the heart, also a mindfulness way of sharing experiences in the middle and at the end of the retreat, it comes to a similar result. What is different at Vipassana, is the constant scanning of the body, which has some real good and effective impact, how you can witness yourself and your body, it is easier, not to get stuck at some problem area, for example. But even having a softer start with the sitting (you can lay down for a while, if you really need) for example, and having some losing exercises for the body in between in my earlier retreats, I feel, its coming to the same goal. Because people are coming with a lot of exhaustion. To allow them, to relax more and more first, brings the natural strength step by step, to extend the sitting periods by everyone’s need by itself. But I like both ways.
But I have also some criticism. First a positive one. The Vipassana organisation had made some rules, even if it fits not so good with me personally, to protect people from doing to much. So you can only attend the next level of retreats or longer retreats by attending at least 3 ground level courses. In between there has to be a three month gab. Because a lot of beginners come to the courses, who never experienced deep spiritual work, it is very good to protect them for doing to much. For example, smokers quit or alcoholics quit there habits and drugs just before the course, to get clean…. So the body need time to lift up energy.
Second. I witnessed that others and me also had the experience, that the body start shaking by itself, the teacher and staff are stopping this process. Little shaking is allowed. In my case I felt it two days before it happened, and I realized, this maid be a problem in this course with so many people, and also I never had it that strong. But on the other hand I can understand, that it is stopped, so it enfolds only slowly slowly. But I know to the same time, if its coming up, then it is right, on a universal or natural level… but it needs people, who can handle it. In this case, with a lot of beginners, it would maybe irritate them….
In my silent retreats I use very simple and easy body movements and some breathing exercises, to lose up the body. I guess, because of that I never had in my retreats any incident of to much shaking happened…?!
Third. Because of a lot of scanning, this is lifting up the energy of everyone a lot. And I myself, with all of my experience had sometimes to make a break, because I know, this is to much… and then, after a while I started again. But if someone does not stop at all… then you maid can’t sleep… as I heard from some friends earlier. One of them did not sleep for 4 days….
Also another guy, actually my roommate told me after the retreat, that he is practicing a while, but ones he had to go even into a mental hospital…. I think, its because he did to much at home… and I could witness a big blog of conctete energy at his upper body he has to work through. But this you can’t to fast….
People get said, that they should practice every day 2 hours meditation, in the morning and the evening each one hour, what is in general good, but for some, it is just to much, because the energy in the body gets build up to quick ….
Forth. In my Sound healing courses I did the scanning at people only, when I had to search for something, but very shortly, to do later some working on it. I super rarely did it on myself. But the scanning itself is super good and working fantastic.

Some of my experiences
Very remarkable was by scanning my belly, stomach. All my life I have trouble with my stomach. Cramps and multiple trauma. While scanning these areas I witnessed the connection between my stomach and the teeth. I had, and I have still so many phantom pains at my teeth now (this phantom pain happens, when the healing process starts). That’s very very remarkable to me. I ruined lots of my teeth by eating sugar, and until then I understood, that it was the main reason….. but I found out, because of this blocked stomach it all happened, too!!! Very good and big inside. I go on with that.
I anyway have a kind of good possibility to look inside my body, but through the scanning it got deepened and its on the way to improve even better. I was able to get inside some areas and organs, really good.
When I started scanning I found myself in a golden body, I felt totally like a Buddha body. But the shape of my body was even optimized in a perfect form. I did not expect any of that and I was not visualizing. I asked the teacher, because in the general introduction, it was taught not to pay attention to any visual appearances, what to do…. and he told me, not to pay attention. Later I found out, to see these images, that’s ok, and because of my experience in the last lots of years its ok. Then I told him again, that I allow myself, to see all of that, told him about my background, and he agreed…
Further I saw hundreds of smaller statues on my body skin. And therefore I was also not prepared. And it came up in every session again and again. I had also a appearance as myself as a statue with something remarkable on my head, a long kind of peak extension or antenna and it repeated and repeated again. Later I asked some people on different statue stands, and they all told me, that this kind of statues gets only produced in Thailand…. I by myself was more thinking of some pagodas in Myanmar, which I had seen earlier on pictures. I my childhood I actually had once a puzzle of a golden pagoda in Rangun, capital of Myanmar.
Also during some days I was very connected with a statue somewhere. I myself have a little sitting problem, my body always sits a bit crooked to the right sight, and it always feels total fine, because I don’t feel it, for me it feels straight. When I try to correct it to a straight position, it feels I have to put a lot of effort into it. Searching for the reason of not sitting straight, I was again connected to this statue thing. Like I felt, I am a statue… so strange… then I saw a statue in a big storage room, again and again. This statue was in the second row of a shelf together with hundreds of even thousands of them. I saw, that this statue is not balances, the shelf underneath was lower at the left side from my viewpoint, so the statue was sitting crooked to the right. Because I could not correct the sitting of the statue I tried to move it a little bit more towards the other statues on that small shelf. There the statue was sitting straight. Oh wonderful I thought, before realizing, that the shelf would not be able to hold all of the statues in that line, maybe collapse. So I tried to move the statue back, where she was before, but it did not work. After a little while, the whole shelf collapsed. How crazy is that? Could it be possible, that I am so connected with one statue somewhere in a shelf, that it even makes me sit crooked? Why would I be so connected to that statue? What kind of history do we have together? …… So interesting….. I will be so exited, if I maybe one day would find out.
The golden spiritual colour I always carry with me in my heart. Its not the gold we can see in this reality. Its a bit more yellow, orange, apricot, something in between these and a gold colour, rayed. Since nearly 30 years I know about, that I carry this colour to spread it around and so on…. so somehow this is not a surprise, that the golden light energy turns up here all the time.
I had another experience with the golden light also that Vipassana retreat, but not the first time. At some point I could colour the area underneath me, sitting on this meditation cushion and underneath my knees and underneath everything under my body. Suddenly everything became very light. I did not feel any pain at my ankle anymore, I even did not feel any weight of my body anymore. I did not feel any connection with all the ground at all ….. and I understand…. that’s the effect, when the Buddha sits on the lotus flower, that’s why that image is done to see, so that’s the evidence, sitting on a lotus flower, that it is possible to do so… The image Buddha is sitting on a lotus flower has this background behind, to be weightless.
I had some more experiences at the retreat, but I cant write them all down….

In my retreats also the golden energy was in the room. But here in the Vipassana retreat I could not witness it.
At the end of the retreat we all did a Metta meditation, that’s the Buddhist version of sending love all around the world. I practiced that in my retreats, too, by sending everything, what we had achieved around the planet, for the benefit of all, together with all the beings who had joined us, like angles and light beings, element and nature beings….

Since I walk for peace I walk without own money. Means I accept and trust, that everything comes to me. Food, accommodation and also donation money. I like it so much, that I want to continue doing so after I finish the peace walk. I am impressed, that this Vipassana organisation is totally run by donation. This is a big inspiration for me, that even such big things can be achieved by donation. Beautiful.


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