3 days end of Ramadan – Eid fitr – has passed

Now I really don’t know what to do here, offer here…… how to get in connection with people, ……

It does not mean, that there are no connections at all, but it always feels, ….. after a while, there is a wall rising up…… a wall not by the’willing‘ of the people, but a wall created by the situation in the country Afghanistan.  And it seems that people gave up on breaking the walls down or at least tollerating, that there is a wall, or that even the walls get bigger. Lots of social life is effected by this ‚walls‘ …… the ‚walls‘ are created by fear, caretaking, governmental rules, neighbours expectations,  unknowing neighbours reactions and behaviours, helplessness, …….. and there are especially big if a foreigner like me is involved. So the natural behavior in terms of hospitality, friendship creating, courioussity, openess and inviting mentalities, …… is hardly disturbed. …..

When I came back from a over night visit at a nice family yesterday morning I was again irritated and a bit helpless, kind of shocked, …..

So I felt kind of helpless reguarding the idea to making more connections, what is anyway not so easy, …… and helpless to be successful to find a place to stay for free, where I am invited as a guest, what is a part of the peacewalk I am doing…..

And also in a kind of mood ‚to give up‘ the idea of being successful to do any kind of peace work here…….  And also I understand the feeling of ‚giving up‘ as a possibility that some unexpected doors can open up……

So what is it, what I have to do here? Maybe just taking care of myself ….. for the beginning…. or at all??….. Maybe getting myself sorted and having a retreat for myself……

Anyway…… this morning I had my first breakfast in the hotel restaurant. There was Ramadan before, and I also did the fast, anyway only eating only fruits at night…. Today: Fried eggs, jam, what I don’t eat (I dont eat sugar at all), bread, and chai, black tea, what I also avoid, it’s pushing me to much….. Anyway, the egg and the bread was good. But I have this feeling that I would love to eat vegan…. ….

My room needs really a clean up, so I asked for a vacuum cleaner. No one, even though this place is rented and a hotel, ever offered any service until now….. But some one came now with the mashine. Everywhere also so dusty, so I started to clean the windowsill and anything standing around. Kabul is surrounded by barran mountains, and no rain in the moment, so the wind produces a lot of dust. But anyway this feels not cleaned for a longer while. All the things I need I have to express thing by thing, and it feels, that even the vacuum cleaning is nearly to much for asking. I have to move the sofa to the side….. And so on. The service men had to be asked to also change my sheets, and cleaning the bathroom please. There is no window in the bathroom, no one cares. So he sets everything under water….  that’s the cleaning…. hihihi… but because I have anyway not really something to do ….. So I start to clean the bathroom in a nicer way….. All the tiles need to be cleaned, the doors and so on…. but the tiles take a lot of effort. So even after 2 hours I am not ready, I need a second shift for it. … tomorrow…. 😊😊 And I have to ask for new towels, toilettpaper and soap. …… Anyway, on some stations on my trip I always do this kind of work…. it feels also a bit like sorting and organising things at the place where I am…. to continue later in bigger circles……

The day before yesterday, second day of the after Ramadan celebrations, my phone credit had to be recharged. So I surged around to find a open shop. In the shop I met (again) another Ali. I will call him here Kabul Ali II. We started talking and as he understood, that it is so difficult to find a free place to stay, he invited me for that night to his family house. Ali, 32, is managing a restaurant called ‚Yummy‘ and so I was also invited to have something there. My choise was a small pizza in children size. It seemed that all the rest had meat. The restaurant was packed so I came in contact with some other guys. Families or women with or without kids dined one floor up. So only men in the area. Ali has to work from 9am to 10pm. So I got picked up from another family member, his brother Ruhen. At Ali’s home, lots of visitors, all relatives with there kids where present, and some could speak english. Later Ali arrived, when we already started eating at 22h. Before the meal was served Ruben came around with a oriental carafe full of water to wash the hand. A silver basin was taking the left over water and everyone got handed a towel. The meal was served on the floor and everything was presented in a beautiful way. Ruben wanted to open the curtains to the neighbours side but Ali mentioned, that the neighbours don’t like it so much, when they can look into the house.

They had served me mineral water in a sealed bottle, but there was also ,normal drinking water‘ from the tap in a carafe for all the others. I asked about the quality of the water. Because to me it seems really good. It’s from district to district different, I got informed. In some districts in the city they put even some chlorine in it. (Until now I have not smelled any chlorine somewhere) Even when Ali travels somewhere, and he comes back, he maid have some problems with some bacteria in it. To avoid diarrhea he eats onion before drinking the tap water. Than no problem.

Because it’s so late already I just eat watermelon and some rice.

Ruben is studying in the province of Baghlan, around 100km north of Kabul. Wonderful mountain over there. I am a bit jealous, because I would love to go. The province is occupied by the Taliban, I hear. A while ago, there was one student killed by the Taliban inside the university. The uncle Same is working in the province of Badaghshan 200km northwest of Kabul. Thats the province at the Hindukush with the 300 km land finger pointing to the east with so beautiful mountains. A no go for me. Brrr. So sad.

Kabul Ali II is explaning that he would love to have me longer in his home, but there is only one night possible. It could be that the neighbours and the neighbours neighbour’s start talking after they get to know me. This could maybe attrack some mafia to kidnap me. So his policy is, not to have foreigners as guests for more than one night. So if something would happen they would feel responsible ( and I also understand, not from only this meeting, that the government makes the hosts responsible, if something would happen…..)

Just before dinner, I told Same to call my hotel, so that they don’t get worried, me not coming ‚home‘. From other experiences I know, governmental offices always like to have my friends phone no, so I give Same my Telefon. And after that I hear also from Same that he feels the same than me, that this is overcaretaking. The government,  as soon as they have a no of my friends, they call this friend’s every some hours, so these friends get really annoid by the behavior.  So instead of working together with the police as helpers or friends, they become even for me a ‚enemy‘. I don’t want to let them trouble my friends.

When everyone left the house and the family was by hisself, Ali’s wife Sideqa came to the guest room. Without any hijab and open hair, so I had the chance to see her and say ‚thank you‘ for the meal.

The night I did not sleep very well. First the little children’s portions pizza layed heavyly in my stomach. And then, later on, I had a lot of dreams moving from one household to the next, day by day, night by night, always only for one night. So the neighbours and the police don’t make trouble…… And it was so exhausting. …..

Ali and his family also want to get away from Afghanistan. …. for the children – 5 month and 2 years. They think of different options. He also asked how it could be possible to get to Germany. ……

Struggeled from the night dreams and conversations, the police and neighbor issues, I walked at the next morning ‚home‘. On the way I have to shop some food. I come, close to my hotel, to a rolling stand selling water melons. Some teens are the sellers. I choose a water melon and it got weighed. One of the younger boys says how much but I can’t understand. So I give towards him 50 Afghani Rupies and want to know how much more. I show my bank notes. So another one comes and shows and takes 100 Afghani Rupies.  From my experience I know it can be max 100, so I explane with hand and feet and my translation mashine, what happend. The younger boy explained all the time that he has not any money from me. I feel cheated. So I got a bit louder. But it did not help. They even did not want to give me the melon I paid. I suggest that we should call the police. But it all did not help. So I went finally and angry with my fruit. (68 AFG = 1 $)  While becoming distance to the stand I maid found an answer. When the young boy weighted the melon on the ground there was another men at the side and he maid have taken the 50 AFG? And he was maybe not from the stand?…. There are so many beggars, maybe he was too??….

Anyway. Situation and atmosphere are tense. Otherwise it would have been easier, to solve a problem like this.

Beside all the tension in the country based on the violence through Taliban and Daish and the 30 or more years war trouble also between different parts of folk groups, on top of that, there are so so many poor people.

This all influences so much the freedom of movement and freedom of just being a human. Every corner, whereever you look, even though there is no fighting I have seen jet,  there are so many proplems to solve. To feel freedom, peace, dignity, love……..

Anyway, peace always starts within….. a good training platform  😊



today one week in Kabul

Dear friends.

Yes it’s already a week in Kabul.

When I woke up today, after a restless night, hiding in the heat under a sheet, to protect myself from lots of mosquitoes, it’s already very busy outside. The bazar is lively busy. A begger women is repeating continually in a suffering voice her interests. Cars are honking. And from the bazar you hear the bustle. Some stands have a repeating mashine with a loudspeaker. The bazar is so busy since 3 days. Even in the very early morning. When you join the happening you get pushed all the time. Everyone is in a hurry. Its a little bit like christmas preparation time in Europe. I learn that the Ramadan fast is finished already tonight, one day earlier then announced. As I understand it’s by message from Mekka, important is, that the moon crecent is to see, before the fast can be finished.

2 days ago I found on my couchsurfing side two messages. They where sent even 2 days earlier. But I could not see them before. ????…… Anyway. One was from Wahid. The other one from a woman named Dill. Dill is around mid 35 I guess, a friendly person, on the profile she did not carry any scarf or hijab. I am really curious, who she is, how it is for her ( and other women) in Afghanistan and so on. There were only two women on the whole Kabul couchsurfing side who offered hosting. So rare. After contacting first I had to contact again in the afternoon. Then we had a really connection and she understood the peace walk project. There was so much good heart energy flowing, so surprising. She said she has to check her guesthouse, I asked back, yes it’s for free, if there is a place for me. Later she said, she will let me know. Then, that she has to ask a friend or family member, because she is a women, and they would pick me up the next day. I am trilled. This will be a very good connection I feel.

Next day nothing happend in the morning, nothing at midday. None in the afternoon…… At around 5pm I got overwhelmed by negativ emotions, doubts and scepticism is rising up. I feel a wave of uncontrolled emotions running over me. I have this idea, that this is the best tarning for a kidnapping. You put a nice women on couchsurfing as a lure and then you pick up the victim. I can’t stop this feeling. It’s big. No further connection in the evening. In the morning the feeling has disappeared. She messages, that the guest house is busy. Some relatives are in the house, she does not know how long they will stay. But she wants to find a friend to host me. I agree.

These days I stay a lot with Mooji’s videos, his satsangs on YouTube. (Also www.mooji.org) They give me a lot of deep insides. And especially on the experience level. It’s sooo wonderful. I am looking forward to hopefully see him in India next spring, to join satsang there. He has not sceduled for next year yet. If you are interested who you really are, if you want to discover, what you already are, what potential you have inside and if you are not afraid to lose your identification as a person…… this is the way to the truth.

With Love


Ramadan روزه (fasting)

Ramadan – fasting

I don’t know who reads no the blog most. Moslem, buddhist or Christian based people.

In Ramadan the fast is for 30 days. Normally it’s 29 days. A full moon circle. Because different Moslem groups counted it different, there was a gab between starting and ending it. One day. There was a negotiation between the different groups so there decided to start and end together. So it came, that the fast is 30 days long.

There is no eating and drinking, no sex and smoking until sunset. In the morning the fast starts earlier than sunrise. The last bit of drinking and eating should be before any dawn can be noticed. So that’s around 1h before sunrise. So people get up at around 2am in the morning to have a kind of breakfast. The first of the prayers is also before the dawn. After most people go again to sleep.

I was always curious about the Moslem fast. I love fasting and I did a lot before getting on the peace walk. When I was around 23/24 I did my first fast. The very first was just one week long. But no eating all week long. Day and night no eating only drinking water and tea, but as much as I wanted all day long. Also some honey. The first time was so hard, because the body is depoisoning hisself and I did not have found the best tea mixture for me by then. Later I extended the fast periods to 10 days, 2 weeks,  3 weeks and up to the longest was 10 weeks.

So when we walkers, we where 3 by then, arrived to Turkey, 2 of us, Magdalena and me were doing the Ramadan while walking in the heat.

It is beautiful when a whole country or religious group is doing a spiritual exercise together.

In Turkey it was so nice, that we did not have only free accomodation at night, but we were also sometimes invited for a nap at daytime. So beautiful.

Ramadan was created by Mohammad to understand poor people and hunger and thirst better, so you can develop compassion easier. Also people who have savings or gold are not only ask, but ruled to give a specific amount of yourself away to the poor. And it has to be done through Ramadan.

Ramadan is a holy month in Islam. On top of the 5 times prayer a day are some extra ceremonies mostly at night.

All the families enjoy Ramadan so much, because eating together in the evening for fast breaking, iftar, is just guaranteed.

Ramadan is sometime also a bit being a whole month in a jetlag. Lots of people don’t go to bed before the morning prayer. So the whole body rhythm is somewhere else.

The start of Ramadan is always moving in the calendar 10 days forward, earlier, because it starts 12 moon cycles after the last Ramadan ends. A year cycle has 12 moons and 10 days.

I can’t imagine to eat normal meals in the evening and night while walking through the heat at daytime. I guess my diguesting system can’t manage. So I decided to eat only fruits at night and drink water. That works pretty good.

This is my fifth time doing Ramadan. I have to say I don’t do all the prayers. I just do the prayer when I feel like it. Anyway. If I do a Moslem prayer, I do it much slower and always in silence.

So now we have four days left until the Ramadan ends. Then there is coming a 3 day celebration, in Turkey it was called Bayram, the sugar fest.


Kabul day 3 and 4

Dear friends,

I have to diguest here a lot. But I feel I am at the right spot. It feels right to be in Kabul. In Afghanistan. Still and for now.

I am still in Spinzar Hotel. I figured out, that I have money for another week. Then I am at 0!!! Puh. That I have to stay in this government Hotel…… brrr. Sure I know, the rule that foreigners should be not in privat hotels has a security reason behind. To prevent kidnapping. And then I have a kind of inside. By ruling forgeigners to stay in governments hotels …. And here I speak about myself, I feel also kind of kidnapped. Sure I am still free to walk everywhere around, and nobody said until now, that it would be unsafe, but there is no other chance for me, than to stay here. And to pay 25$ is the cheapest version. Kidnappers also want to have money, and it seems to me a bit similar…..

I made another peace walk in the city of Kabul. I came to the area of all the embasseys, also to that place where a bomb exploded around 3 weeks ago. In that area and maybe a km around there are so many embasseys and official and government buildings. Big concrete wall where build up in front of anyway 3 to 4 meter walls. For another protection or better protection. After walking a while through this area it becomes depressing. Its walking nearly like being in a tunnel. Everything around is walls. At one place, at one of the walls I see a small graffiti. It says in blue: ‚Kabul Peace city‘ I want to make a photo….. But just leave it, because maybe someone is coming, official buildings are not allowed to be fotographed.

Kabul Ali gave me this two adresses from German organisations and I want just to visit them. Also in the same area. I just want to speak with some foreigners, get maybe to know some friends, speak about, how to live in this city, where to be and have a accommodation…. just orientating a bit more. One is from GIZ, one from another organization, but he gave me description in Farsi, so I have to show and ask. I am in the right area, but people sent me up and down the street. Here I meet Nasim and his brother. Nasim is just 22 years old, a thin men, and was once outside of the country, in Pakistan for a operation. He suffers from a kidney stone. Everything was fine, but again he developed two big new stones. Another need for operation. He tells me that he has a room…. But I am a bit sceptical….. if I go there, I proparbly have to move soon again….. the police. And he is a very needy person….. He would like to go to Germany…… anyway he shows me on mapsme where he lives and I want to see his place….. later. By looking on the map I see, that there is a Sigh temple in Kabul. So interesting. That is another destination for my peace walks…..

Also with Nasim we could not find the adress. I see a sign of the International Red Cross Geneve and decide to knock at the door. There are three big gates and I knock at the first. It does not feel in use. Dust at the door and the handle. No response. Two more tries at the other doors, no reaction, too. Next entrance is a little hospital, maybe someone knows to enter the neighbour property. I have to go around the buildings towards the next street. Entrance is from behind. Again everywhere at least 4m walls with mititary fence in top. I find a bell and a men who opens the door sent me 200 m further, then left. All the way to the end. At the next corner, military…. no, the way through here is closed, a gate, I have to go around again. All the buildings are from he red cross, partly in cooperation with the Red Crecent. Arriving at the third street, I have again to ask 3 times until I find behind a security hut a bell. Military men open a 10 by 10cm window with a grid to see who is there. Finally they open the whole door. But to reach the goal to speak with a foreigner, nope….. here is no-one.  Everybody is back in Germany. 3 streets of buildings and everything empty, orphaned…. only security guards….. uppps. I look again, if I can find the GIZ, but no success. I give up for today. All this fences and walls, protecting official properties from ‚ememies’…. What does it make to the normal Afghanis to see something like that. In my understanding it makes only more separation between officials and the normal people. Sure I know,  that’s not the intention. But there is anyway so much scepticism from people to the government. To see this walls, it feels or has the impression, yes they have something to hide.

I continue my peacewalk and hit back towards my new ‚home‘. Surprisingly, not at the edge of the city, but there is a garden area. Outside stands with fruits. I do arrive a the river, which flows through Kabul. Very little water in it these days. And people put all there rubbish in it. When I see something like that I am almost crying. Lots of grey water make it still flow a little. To my very big surprise I see someone washing his cloth in it.

The last 500m to my hotel so many stands, bazar. Most sellers have a stand on wheels, so they just roll there shop in the evening home. Everyone has a umbrella on top to have some protection from the sun. Its very colourful. In the last days of Ramadan its energy taking and diffucult to stand all day long in he hot sun, not to eat and drink until sunset. Fantastic to see all the goods, hills of watermelons and other fruits, stands full of adgil, all kinds of dry fruits and nuts, I guess this is also famous for breaking the fast in some days. And sure, other stands with cloth and other useful goods.

In the afternoon resting time and communication with some friends later on. It’s unbelievable how much time I need for diguesting, sleeping….

Opening doors, inside and outside, seems to be difficult here. To find a free place to stay…. impossible? no, I don’t believe it, but it takes time.

At the evening around 19h, Iftar, fast breaking time, I look for the people in my first hotel. They are so happy that I show up. We have a good time. Now I find out, that there are also rooms for 500 AFG rupies (7$). Why they not offer this to me. Because you need a bathroom in the room, that say. But, I told you that I have so little money…. it seems that it take a long time, to believe a westener, that he has little money.

Mahmod here in Kabul writes an Sms. He is a friend from Ali in Fariman in Iran and working for Iranian TV here. He is full of worries for me and not really answering on Ali’s and my request, if it is possible to stay maybe at his place? Coversations continue the whole evening between us three…. Later in the night I find a message,  that he will help me a little, whatever that’s means….. He will let me know next day…..

The next day, today a was finally able to speak to the director of the Hotel. I want to let him know about my financial situation and see if there could be something done on the money side. Mr Karimzai listened to me, read my flyer, checked my passport. I told him also I have only money for one more week. In other countries it’s possible, like in Turkey, to go to he mayor or governer, and they always found a solution for a day, some days or week to stay by invitation. Not in Afghanistan. I ask him if I can speak with his ‚boss‘, but in this case it’s the ministry of…. so I  not able to speak with the minister… understandable – super busy person. Anyway, after some thinking he redused my staying fee in the hotel to 15$. He also said, that he is a bit like me, helping people, and the room is 25$. The difference he will pay out of his personal pocket…..

In the afternoon I felt into a long sleep. It’s so surprising – again, how much energy it’s take to open the doors on many levels, only a little bit…..

I checked my account and a unexpected donation arrived from a friend surprisingly. Oh how good.  So I am not running out of money in 7 days…… Thanks. …

Mahmoud, the Iranian TV reporter is just writing SMS. He likes to help me, but he lives also in a government home and it’s not ‚approved‘ that I can stay there. He finally liked to help me. But…. it’s hard to open doors in Afghanistan. …. very interesting and it seems like an adventure…. let’s continue

A have a mouse, a little tiny mouse visiting me in my room. It seems she walks through all the rooms, there are gaps under the doors. Since yesterday I do feed her with some pumkin seeds and water melon. She is very cute, climing up the curtain and balancing on the charger cable of my telefon.

Love from Kabul – Peace City


peace education

I wrote, that education is an issue in this country. And I thought of, how to improve a social and peace behaviour for everyone in the country. Reachable also for adults…..

So one idea popped up. And I will bring it forward towards someone in a position to spread this idea.

There could be a TV station offering in form of interviews or documentations wisdom and knowledge from other cultures, religions and so on. Every some weeks or once a month they could offer a 1h program to introduce from around the world wise men and women reporting about, how to create peace and a good social life, also for reducing poorness.

Protagonists can be politicans, people who work at United nations, leaders of religions and peports from all kinds of people, who create in any kind better situations. The fields can be from studies, how to live together until environmental projects. ……

It’s a wide range and it asked also for openess. …..

Next interview this will be announced.


2nd day in Kabul

Dear friends,

I am learning more about being here as a foreigner. Read….

So yesterday the Kabul Ali could not help me. He was just to busy. So I decided to stay one more night in the Hotel (Plaza). I wrote some more people on couchsurfing, That would be a good solution. The once I wrote before, they did not answer yet.

Then I went for a orientation and peace walk through the city. About 10km. I decided to do it more often maybe even daily. It felt good and some ideas popped up. One idea was to negotiate with the Plaza Hotel to get a better prize and to stay for a while until I have a solution, where to be. Also I thought of starting a funding, because money is running out…..  Next idea was to engage more with this people at the hotel, they are nice, and making in the evening peace birds with them. Then a bought a sponge and a soap to continue cleaning the room…. One of the employees is studying, so there could be a connection with the University?… And so on…..

Coming back to the Plaza Hotel I had to sit down at the reception first. Situation changed. The police showed up. I am not allowed to stay there anymore, because it’s a privat hotel. I have to move to another Hotel, which is owned by the government and what is more expensiv. My complanes, that I don’t want to change the place, also because of money reasons…. it did not help. So now I have to pay, instead of 15$, 17$. The new Hotel (Spinzar) is not far away. They want to have the Tel no of Kabul Ali, but I refuse. The goverment is making to much trouble to my friends (mainly calling all the time and put my friends into responsibilities, they are not responsible for) I feel more again in a prison, and I have even to pay for it.

I have one more option to hopefully find a free place to stay. Its through another Ali from Iran/ Fariman, who has a friend, Mahmad, also Iranian, who lives in Kabul, works her at a TV station. So in the night we try to connect with him, first the no is not clear, we sent messages, no answer yet. But Fariman Ali is also connecting to Mahmads brother, so step by step we come closer.

The next morning Kabul Ali shows up. I very much appreciate that he is coming. Sometimes in this culture people don’t show up, if they can’t fulfill the needs of a ‚guest‘ or a problem they can’t solve. They want to make people happy and take care of them. If they can’t, they feel ashamed and it’s so embarrasing to them, that they can’t handle the situation. So they dont come. I express my appeciation. Kabul Ali wanted to solve the money problem with again paying my hotel for the last night. But I have to refuse. It does not feel right to missuse this freshly friendship. Sure, in general I accept donations whereever they come from, but in this situation, even though my money runs out very soon, I can’t accept. I think it’s because he is also misused by the Plaza Hotel yesterday by calling him without asking me, to solve my problems.

So Kabul Ali is again the translater in the new Hotel for another issue. Spinzar Hotel was giving me yesterday a reduces price, the 17$, and during the night the manager of this Hotel complained towards the employees…. The real price, which I have to pay now is 25$!!!! Wonderful. I get really angry. I am not allowed to stay, where I can effort it, have to be like in a prison now (not free to choose) and have to pay a overprices Hotel. Brrrr. To Ali, I say, I maid stay outside in the street, then, is that more safe? In a country, where 42% of the people have less than 1$ a day for living, this does not feel right.

Also I don’t find a place at couchsurfing, because hosts will be called and controlled all the time, I try to understand the non-reaction….., and couchsurfing have proparbly experienced with hosting foreigners, and I think loud….. towards Ali.

It’s all for the safety reason. I understand the idea behind. But I know, which the last kidnapping happend in Kabul (after 2 years of no incident in the city) there was also a armed security guard killed, who tried to protect the hostel guest. Then the government complaned, that the members of a help organisation did not have any personal security guard. But there was security in front of the building. I don’t know, if this is the right strategy. And what makes me angry and very sad, is, that there is a total separation now between foreigners and citizens. And with every action the gap gets bigger. It seems that there is no trust between citizens and government security. Anyone is to be misstrusted, needs to be investigated, controlled and is suspicious. Any hospitality of the Afghanis gets poisioned by this strategy. Very dangerous in my understanding.

So for now I do not have a solution. I will stay another day in this Hotel. Ali gave me in the morning the adress of two German help oranisations in the city. I should have gone there immediately, but also I have to take care of my peace inside, I had to write this down. Friday, his free day, today is Monday,  he likes to spent more time with me. Inshallah. And looking forward to it. Thank you Ali.



Good bye in Herat. I was there somehow in a ‚isolation room‘. Not a real window. Very warm room. Able to look at myself. Good.

Flight to Kabul. It hurts me that I can’t walk here. Beautiful scenery down there at the ground, wonderful, seen from the plane.

Arriving in Kabul is just great today. Ali (Kabul) picks me up. He is a employee from a friend, also an Ali, from Tehran, who owns a company in Herat. They also have a branch in Kabul. Ali (Tehran) I met on the Afghanian embassey there. We both had a wrong Visa in the passport and it had to be renewed. Anyway, I told Ali (Kabul) that I can’t effort anymore to pay a hotel again. So his company did. Tomorrow he want to help me find a place for free. Let’s see. Also I want to go to some help organisations here. Will I feel attracted to one of them?

In the meanwhile I cleaned together with one of the employees of the hotel the room and the mega terrace. So messie. This simple room has the potential to be a paradise. And it has such a beautiful view at the mountains around. Now he went getting a sponge, but it seems he is not coming back. ????





Dear friends,

I am still in the Hotel. Tomorrow I leave by plane to Kabul.

The last days I relaxed and slept. But not all the time.

One morning my sister reminded me, that the north route could be something really good. Means through Usbekistan, Tajikistan, Kirgisitan to China and then into Parkistan. Or a little bit longer through Tibet until Nepal. I was a bit busy with that, then I got a while strongly affected by this idea. Went through all the maps I have. And it’s really a dream route. Until know I don’t know if I dropped the idea of it…… maybe it’s still possible, but needs some really effort to get all the visas (I am still not really relaxed with visa issues)….. and money…..

I would still have some time in Kabul to figure it out.

You maybe don’t know how much I thought of the situation, what happens after Herat, since I started walking …. and it always felt complicated.

Maybe because there is no solution. Maybe it’s decided before I came to this planet, to walk all the way. And I really really would love to do so. But it is not possible because of security reasons. And the other options, not to walk, are not satisfying at all. So my feeling and heart system is kind of fixed. It wants to walk.

Maybe a solution could be, to spend the time, which I otherwise would have walked, serving the country and people in other ways. So for example staying in Kabul. Serving trough presence, or engageing in some project…..

Actually. I don’t have a clue.

Anyway. This here is a bit difficult…. 😊

I have to trust, that it’s enfolds…….

So for now, the best was, after moving everything back and forward in my system, to book the flight to Kabul.



day 5 and 6 Herat

Dear friends,

Yesterday I stayed all day in the hotel. I made peace birds from the paper I still had from Ali and Fatima from Fariman in Iran.

I realize, the body is starting to make some little cramps, because there is no moving anymore.

Today I went to the great mosque, the park at the mosque and the bazar areas around. It was really nice. All the places in the shade are occupied by people. It seems that some people live in the park, quite some people are sleeping at around 10am there.

At the bazar I was looking, what kind of Afghanian dresses are existing, if I maid like one, maybe prices. Suddenly I came in contact with some people and Wahad, because I am working for peace, he offered me to bye a full dress for me. We found the right one pretty quick. This dress has a afghanian design on the front. All together it’s a fabric which has to be tailor-made. I will have it ready in 2 days.

After I bought some paper and pens for making more peace birds.

My neighbor, Hasan, in the hotel is a member of the Afghanistan army. He has here also his family, wife and 2 kids. He has lived in Kabul for the last 15 years and never left the city to go to the country side because of safety. To Herat he came by plane. His brother lives in Azerbaijan and now he plans to move there with his family too. He does not see a future anymore to stay in Afghanistan. (2 other brothers live in Austria) His duty is to arrange a transfer through Iran now.

Earlier this evening a police men from the afghanian inner security came to see me. He gave me some information about the roads, all not to walk….. but suggest, if I go anywhere, I should not even take a car or bus, just the plane to the main cities. I tell him that I will not stay much longer in the hotel. I am looking for a privat place to stay. The security service also wants to check the house I go. So I tell him the story, that my last host was very annoyed, that the police called him all the time, to know what I am doing. So I probarbly don’t let them know my next host.

Later the night I spoke again with Hasan. I think after the all and little what I saw until know, also speaking with my my first host Barkatulla, education seems to be a very big topic. To control all the country with army and police, yes it’s also needed, but it seems there is such a big lack of education, especially in the country side. Hasan says, the germans build such a good school in Kabul, maybe the best in the country.

I tell him, that we maid be on the change to a very peaceful world. We don’t know, but I maid take another some years or decades, or even some 100 years. Until now we made wars and need police and army’s. But then we maid not need anything of this. In the mean time we need also a peace army of people without weapons (beside the armed army, police and so on) This peace army people without weapons have to teach and meditate and pray. They have to come to each ‚proplem‘ area to lift up the energy. They have to come from all kind of wisdom places, means could be from religious background but also other wisdom sources, to support the people in that regions to find here strenght back….

Before he went, he says. You maid not know what to do now, I don’t know too.

Every night I have to deal with some tiny mosquitoes. They are very little and so hard to catch. And it feels that there bite at least 10 time. Not to bad, but…. And very difficult to catch, very….

My room is very hot. Don’t know really why. The ventilator is also not helping… When I leave the room at night it feels like 8 or 10 degrees difference to the hotel hall….

Thanks for reading


so whats the plan??

What is the plan for me here????

I don’t know yet

Anyway. I said. I will walk until Herat, ….so many people said,  it’s safe until there. So finally I was disturbed before in the walk. I think I will not fight for walking the last 60 km to Herat anymore. It seems anyway, if I have a unwritten declaration from a competent person, it does not mean anything to the next checkpoint.

In Herat I wanted to figure out, what’s the next step to do. Is there any way to continue walking? Does not really seems like it, or? I have to speak to someone who trust me and is not overworried. Even if I have a good information source I need to have a official paper from somebody who is respected, so I don’t have to explains and ‚fight‘ all the time. I could also agree with some part ways to walk…..????!!!! Don’t know what comes. But my body already is missing the walking. (During the last month all my last issues in the back went)

I could fly to Kabul and figure out further steps from there. I kind of like the idea to stay on my originally route and if not possible to walk, to take a car, plane until it’s fine again…… (but it’s not clear if I can get a Parkistan Visa, because Parkistan likes the people to get the Visa in the home countries. Also to get to Parkistan or India in the Monsun, it’s not the best idea, I think)

So I could stay the time I had anyway planed for Afghanistan in ’safe Herat or and Kabul‘.

I could walk in the cities for peace.

I could meditate and pray in both cities and gather some people or/and initiate some international meditations for Afghanistan…..

I could make a lot of peace birds and initiate another peace bird project. And to give then around.

And there is the other option, however to leave the country to the north to Uzbekistan or Tajikistan and take the north route……

I am very calm – I will open my heart and spirit and being to see what comes through….. this is very clear for now.

Love you all