Update 20.6.2023

It’s more then half a year ago, to write here on the blog.
It has been a intense time, processing inner stuff.
I have the feeling, I went through the hardest part, including lots of pain. It was a deep deep process on the edge of my possibilities.

From the beginning
Steppp by Steppp

There is a foundation of being guided, whatever comes on the way, even if it is something almost not visible or feelable anymore. But deep down or inside of myself I always know or at least can remind myself, there is this ‚being guided‘, trust, being hold, embraced…..
Actually we are all somehow guided through our life, through the net of existence, whatever believe system we have, religious or not religious.
Yes life is difficult sometimes. Yes it is. And life brings us through our challenges towards solutions and development. And that’s a gift and a reason to be grateful.
And that is sometimes even difficult to feel, the gratefulness, but having worked so continuesly developing consciousness, it’s only a matter of time, that gratefulness is present again. Sometimes only the knowing, that all will work out, because it does, brings gratefulness back, maybe little first, then more and more.

After my time at the Baltic I was welcomed at Sandra’s house (always welcomed there). Her mother, Edith, was getting weaker and weaker and finally left this level of existence. It was a very peaceful finallysation …..

I went to England to sit a intense 30 day silent Vipassana retreat and come back for some more weeks to Sandra’s house.
During this time, we could bring Edith’s remaining ashes to the family tree in the closed by ‚Friedwald‘.

My mother’s Inge 85th birthday got celebrated in her home. All the family was present. As a collective present we created a calender, where all of us, children, grandchildren could design a page, which tells the future story of having a nice day together with Inge. Means, everyone of us is inviting my mother to a special day, event, during this year.

I still live from donations (and will continue so), what means , I go there, where I am invited, or where I feel, I have to go to.

Actually, I was drawn first to leave around mid February to India, Moreh. Because of a not clearlyfied situation, what happened with the former donation money and a not clear communication about it, I decided not to go yet. I was emotionally also to hurt and not stable, to face the situation face to face, because the communication with my very good friend in Moreh was, on my point of view, not open. I still love the clean up project in Moreh and somehow, I am still open to getting involved again. (Currently, since 6 weeks, there is no communication online possible, the government cut the internet because of violence between ethnic and religious groups)

But there was an invitation by Alex(andra), to come to Gran Canaria. Alex is a Vipassana friend, which I got to know in the Vipassana center in Poland last year. First I stayed in her house, with a beautiful view over the whole city and harbour of Las Palmas.
But she had a surprise for me:
Aaron, whom I also met last year in the Vipassana center in Poland, was about to buy a Finca in the hills of the island. And so he did.
The property lays opposite of a UNESCO world heritage side Risco Caido, which honours the first settlers of Gran Canaria, who lived in caves. His property lays on steep ground, has also a some caves and more or less improvised simple ‚houses‘. The terrasse land has the possibility of farming, some trees, lemon, orange, figs, almond are already there. It’s completely silent in the valley of Barranco Hondo de Abajo in the northwest of the island.
I was always interested in meditating in a cave, so soon after signing the contract, we 3, Alex, Aaron and me went by bus to the 910m high location.
The property lays really calm and beautiful, the land has a lot of potential….and the place needed a lot of help, especially first for cleaning up. So I ‚moved in‘. Day by day cleaning up the messi areas, inside the barrack and more needed, in the with trash filled up caves. But also quite some trash on the property.
In the beginning I had no running water, so I had to bring it from somewhere.
I stay here more then 3 month now and it soon comes to an end.
Yes, it was challenging, to stay here, but this is only regarding towards my inner work and being here for almost all the time totally alone. The silence brought me totally towards myself and my inner struggles.
But the land and location is just so wonder, wonderful. Having no car ( and I don’t want one) it was always an effort, to get to the next villages, towns (Artenara, Agaete, Galdar) but there was also a small but good sorted little shop half an hour to walk away. Often I walked to the next settlements, but there are also busses, who leave 45min or 1h 15min walking distance away, a few times a day. To get by bus to the next town takes about at least an hour or more.
My friend Elizabeth just asked me yesterday, if I have already wistful feelings about leaving in a few days ( and I had some weeks ago, a bit). But I could truthful answer now ‚No, I don’t have, it feels, everything is rounding up so beautifully‘.
Aaron came some days ago back to the Canaries and so I can hand over everything to him. His girlfriend Ilu arrives, when I leave.
This place will become a place for mainly meditators.

So what comes next ?

Meeting dear friends in Heiligenhaus, Helga und Hartmut for some days.

Staying at my mother’s house, while my sister’s family is in holidays in July.

Maybe house-sitting a place in Worpswede.

Getting towards my earlier living place area Flensburg and around, visiting friends and nature to there…..

Somehow a city in Netherlands, Uetrecht, is on my maybe list, I heard so many good things from this place….

And for sure, all the time being back in Germany, I will bicycle a loooot. I have to train my body a lot. Looking so much forward to it!!!!!!!! Yippieh!!!!!

Also I maid serve a Vipassana course this summer

After the summer
I proparbly move to India again. I will sit a 45 day silent Vipassana retreat…..
….and some maybe’s…..

Be blessed





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