Its hard….

Hi friends,

It’s hard to walk in Nepal’s south…. So far I walked 180 km. I feel exhausted so quick….. I still figure out, what’s the reason… and there seems to be many….. But there are somehow related to each other…. inter-are

First of all it maidbe my disciplin. It seems that my mind is somehow overtaking…. after being in Ladakh with less internet…. now re’enjoying‘ being in the net just to much…. distracted by that … not able to concentrate enough on my meditation practise…. does not mean, I do not meditate, I do, but from around three hours a day I just do 1 or 2 hours? When it come to better days….. Somehow I am excepting this fact, but it is really not good for me…..

Also I am eating a lot…. also I have been very accepting with that, but since one or two days, realizing this is really over the top and makes me feel uncomfortable. …. so I try to smoothly change it again.

Today I stopped walking already at 2pm. Being exhausted from food consumption, but more from energetically conditions during the last two weeks  (maybe that’s the reason of that much eating?)

People are still very nice – I got a beautiful invitation in Jhunga some days ago, where I stayed for another rest day. Having also two days rest just before that I should be relaxed…. but I am not. …

Today, thinking of the moment of sunset, looking out of my simple ( in this case aceptable) hotel room…. everything is dust. Dust from the season…. it’s somehow winter, so atmosphere is somehow hazy and muggy….. Dust from the street… most of the streets are unpaved, so every truck or bus makes a cloud of dust  (most of the traffic is my bicycle or motorcycle, or even people walk) …. it’s not nice to walk or live in this conditions, just everywhere dust. …

Then, at sunset I also thought about the other effects to make the somehow atmosphere and sand fog even more foggy. It’s the effect of poorness (even though no-one complanes and there is food enough and people are friendly) but it has an effect on the dusty consciousness. … also people eat quite some meat, smoke and drink alcohol ….. and the conditions in these cheap hotel, where I stay here and then, dirty stinky here and there, don’t help to lift up energy….  (and maybe the younger history and corruption leave also so steps in his dust?…)

Anyway, all this together, and my personal experience to feel much better over 2500m and feeling somehow as under water at low levels… don’t help to lift my energy level up….

I don’t want to complain, I just collect the puzzle pieces together to understand it better…. and so it is….

And…. somehow, I don’t know why… my heart gets dry…. energetically and on a spiritual level… I did not have it for a long while….

With Love

Thomas